I wish I could credit the author of that story. It's in English and very funny.
I do get rid on thistles, these cover everything if allowed to and extremely invasive. they do not allow any native prairie plants to grow, they even out-compete aggressive prairie grass.
I planter plenty of native seeds like echinacea (purple cone flowers), many prairie cone flower seeds added little bit of some clovers and alfalfa form several volunteer plants I had, prairie flowers native mix... Hopefully I do not feed all the field mice and owls do the job.
I do not get rid of dandelions, that's true, and I'm a hobo grass recycle-r, I cut that into the grasses.
I also harvest suburban leaves and grass clippings and grow my things in soil my hired insects, bacteria, protosoa, worms. I do have lawn, it came with the house and it is most unused area, kids sometimes come play but that's about it... And we mow it, it grows grass for my mulching... it does have thistles in it that were blown from neighboring way way not maintained pasture... things happen, if these allowed to multiply they cover everything and create mono-culture of thriftless and nothing else.
I do not get rid of field salsafey and dandelion for same reasons I plant daycon radish - they dig for me and do loosen the clay and let the organic from top to go deeper. They aerate the dirt and help me to make it soil.
Quote: To you unknown author, salute, this is really something, that hit the spot.
I heard this years ago, and I ran across it recently. This will give you a chuckle!
Imagine the conversation The Creator might have had with St. Francis on the subject of lawns:
God: Hey St. Francis, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there in the Midwest? What happened to the dandelions, violets, thistle and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect "no maintenance" garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honey bees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now. But all I see are these green rectangles.
St. Francis: It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers "weeds" and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.
God: Grass? But it's so boring. It's not colorful. It doesn't attract butterflies, birds and bees, only grubs and sod worms. It's temperamental with temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there?
St. Francis: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green. The begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn.
God: The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy.
St. Francis: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut it... sometimes twice a week.
God: They cut it? Do they then bail it like hay?
St. Francis: Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags.
God: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?
St. Francis: No Sir. Just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.
God: Now let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?
St. Francis: Yes, Sir.
God: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work.
St. Francis: You are not going to believe this Lord. When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.
God: What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. Plus, as they rot, the leaves form compost to enhance the soil. It's a natural circle of life.
St. Francis: You better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and pay to have them hauled away.
God: No. What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter and to keep the soil moist and loose?
St. Francis: After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy something which they call mulch. The haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves.
God: And where do they get this mulch?
St. Francis: They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch.
God: Enough. I don't want to think about this anymore. Sister Catherine, you're in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us tonight?
Sister Catherine: "Dumb and Dumber", Lord. It's a real stupid movie about.....
God: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St. Francis.
So there. I just picked plenty of those bagged leaves to spread on my new planted raspberries I had to move in summer because there was community water maintenance and the folk had to dig out large holes to replace main irrigation lines. I've got fee straw bales too. happy dance. finally I'll put some more straw to cover my troubled berm where it's too clay too dry (sigh about pro landscaper, still puzzled... who on earth would plant like that and... pay for that job of maintenance... I guess I feel it... that's the story above... it cost the tribal members... meaning tribal mentality... 250$ a month on top of water and $75 per tree for iron injections... I'm not doing that nonsense clearly, I do not have money tree).
More fall-winter work for me making my ditch and completing stage 3 irrigation-water management drains that go to my orchard... Sadly I have to do it around that lawn and boy do I hate that lawn... honestly, that grass in there spreads like no one's business, but it does want water. I do not have water to irrigate acres of lawn grass, it does want to go where water is, into my flower beds. I like flowers and I do not like lawn grass that does make a mess in there...
Feeling vicious... one day I'll get rid of that inherited lawn grass and replace it with less water consuming grasses, and not that aggressive ones, but not this season... it's one of later to-do's on my list. That grass I've got in that lawn whatever that is is like Bermuda grass of parries, that one spreads by rhizomes... whatever that is... want is far far away from my flowers...
God On Lawns
Imagine the conversation The Creator might have had with St. Francis on the subject of lawns:
God: Hey St. Francis, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there in the Midwest? What happened to the dandelions, violets, thistle and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect "no maintenance" garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honey bees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now. But all I see are these green rectangles.
St. Francis: It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers "weeds" and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.
God: Grass? But it's so boring. It's not colorful. It doesn't attract butterflies, birds and bees, only grubs and sod worms. It's temperamental with temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there?
St. Francis: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green. The begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn.
God: The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy.
St. Francis: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut it... sometimes twice a week.
God: They cut it? Do they then bail it like hay?
St. Francis: Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags.
God: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?
St. Francis: No Sir. Just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.
God: Now let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?
St. Francis: Yes, Sir.
God: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work.
St. Francis: You are not going to believe this Lord. When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.
God: What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. Plus, as they rot, the leaves form compost to enhance the soil. It's a natural circle of life.
St. Francis: You better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and pay to have them hauled away.
God: No. What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter and to keep the soil moist and loose?
St. Francis: After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy something which they call mulch. The haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves.
God: And where do they get this mulch?
St. Francis: They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch.
God: Enough. I don't want to think about this anymore. Sister Catherine, you're in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us tonight?
Sister Catherine: "Dumb and Dumber", Lord. It's a real stupid movie about.....
God: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St. Francis.
So there. I just picked plenty of those bagged leaves to spread on my new planted raspberries I had to move in summer because there was community water maintenance and the folk had to dig out large holes to replace main irrigation lines. I've got fee straw bales too. happy dance. finally I'll put some more straw to cover my troubled berm where it's too clay too dry (sigh about pro landscaper, still puzzled... who on earth would plant like that and... pay for that job of maintenance... I guess I feel it... that's the story above... it cost the tribal members... meaning tribal mentality... 250$ a month on top of water and $75 per tree for iron injections... I'm not doing that nonsense clearly, I do not have money tree).
More fall-winter work for me making my ditch and completing stage 3 irrigation-water management drains that go to my orchard... Sadly I have to do it around that lawn and boy do I hate that lawn... honestly, that grass in there spreads like no one's business, but it does want water. I do not have water to irrigate acres of lawn grass, it does want to go where water is, into my flower beds. I like flowers and I do not like lawn grass that does make a mess in there...
Feeling vicious... one day I'll get rid of that inherited lawn grass and replace it with less water consuming grasses, and not that aggressive ones, but not this season... it's one of later to-do's on my list. That grass I've got in that lawn whatever that is is like Bermuda grass of parries, that one spreads by rhizomes... whatever that is... want is far far away from my flowers...
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